Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Exactly One Year Ago

I did not expect to wake up crying today, but I did.  I woke up at 4:30 this morning and immediately began crying.  If it weren't for a house full of kiddos I'd probably spend the day curled up on the couch with a book and some hot chocolate.  Exactly one year ago today I drove to the OB office only to learn we had lost our baby.  I debated whether or not to even share this fact but I know there are others out there mourning for their children today too.  A year later and it has definitely gotten easier but there is truly not a day that goes by that we do not think about that baby.  I still feel an incredible ache whenever I see a baby who is the same age as our baby should be.  I still cry for our baby.
But a year later I can say.....
I look forward to seeing our baby in Heaven and holding him or her.
I am thrilled to be pregnant and so humbled by the fact that we will be the parents to 4 children.
I appreciate those who stepped alongside us and helped us through.
I look forward to hanging our baby's ornament on the tree this year....and every year from here on out.
I am thankful for the time we did get with our baby.
I have a whole new appreciate for conception, pregnancy, what it means to be a parent and what a blessing and an honor it is to carry a child.

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