Sunday, October 23, 2011
It has been a week since that awful appointment. It feels like a big milestone that we made it one week. Today was our first time to attend church since losing our baby. It was so, so hard. I am thankful that the day is behind us. I find that when I am home, I feel strong and like I can get through this. But when I go out in public, it scares me. I worry that I will break down and cry. I see pregnant women everywhere. I see cute newborns. I see people buying baby gifts. I see birth announcements in yards. Before I know it I feel that depression pushing in on me and my emotions creeping closer to the surface and then I just feel so tired. I am not sure how long this feeling will last. I know that getting out is good for me. I refuse to cancel any appointments or events. The things that get me through....God, my family, our kids, my husband, those that share their stories with me and knowing that one day, in Heaven, we will meet our precious baby.